Are you holding yourself back because you have no confidence or a low self esteem? Take heart, you are not alone and you can gain in confidence.
Or maybe you were confident once but life has dealt you some harsh blows and you want to build your self confidence back up again? Confidence need not be lost forever – you can regain your confidence, step by step.
Or maybe you are confident in some parts of your life but not in others and you want to feel better about yourself in these areas? You can.
Whichever of these applies to you, know this one important thing – everyone I know lacks confidence somewhere in their lives, even those who look super cool and confident can have a worry worm of self doubt lurking inside that they aren’t letting you see.
The second thing you must know, right from the start, is that confidence is A SKILL that you can learn. Yes! I have seen people learn to be more confident right in front of my eyes.
What you may not know, is just how easily many of us undermine our self confidence, and how easily we can turn this around by buildinf our confidence, one step at a time.
With just one step you can change your whole direction in life.
You wouldn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to get more self confidence, would you?
Your first step for building your confidence
There is so much that you can do to be confident – it seems too simple to give just one or two tips … but building up your confidence can begin with just one step. Here is a VITAL one.
TIP # 1:
Stop the negative thoughts
Negative thoughts kill confidence. Do you know what you say to yourself, about yourself, inside your head? It is probably worse than anything else other people say to you. STOP! What we say to ourselves hurts us. If you tell yourself you will mess up – it doesn’t help you, does it? If you tell yourself you are not worth it, you are hurting yourself. If you tell yourself you aren’t good enough, you are destroying your own confidence. STOP!
YOU CAN HAVE CONTROL OVER WHAT YOU SAY TO YOURSELF. TAKE CONTROL TODAY.
You may find it hard to stop. You may want to argue with me … but this will only be because you have done it so often and for so long it now seems natural. It isn’t.
DON’T BELIEVE YOURSELF WHEN YOU SAY THINGS THAT KILL YOUR CONFIDENCE.
They are not real. It is not the real you. It is simply you doing something you have done a lot of. You can stop today.
STOP THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. CHALLENGE THEM. TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU DO DESERVE IT. YOU CAN DO IT. UNTIL THIS KIND OF POSITIVE THINKING BECOMES A HABIT.
Of course, it won’t be easy at first – your thoughts will fight you … but you can win through. Just take the first step now. Start practising being confident.
Your second vital step for building your confidence
Many people who lack confidence worry about what other people think of them. They worry about being rejected. Here is the confidence building news you may not have realized…
Focus on the other person not on yourself.
When you go and meet strangers and other people – guess who they are worrying about the most? Is it you? No. Who is it? THEMSELVES. Yes! The people you meet are most often worrying about themselves. In fact they may even be worrying about your judging them. It is quite ironical really, isn’t it?
Think what this means for your own confidence. It means that you can let go of your own worries and self-focus.
What can you do instead that will improve your confidence?
Take the focus off yourself and put it on them. You can focus on them and help them to feel at ease WITH YOU.
Help them to find it easy to talk to you. Help them to know what to talk to you about. Look after the other people when you are talking to them and the conversation will be far more relaxed and easy than when you are worrying about yourself.
This is a great way to gain confidence. Try it for yourself and see the difference it makes.